Feeling Stupid

When forgiveness involves admitting feeling stupid, it's a huge hurdle, but a victory, none the less; when it happens.  Sometimes we're really not as mad at others for what they did, but for how we felt in the situation.  It's easy to forgive being wronged or even cussed out, as long as it was clear the other person was at fault, but . . . when we have to forgive a situation in which we just feel humiliated, that's a whole different kind of forgiveness.

It's much easier to forgive someone who has publicly made a horse's rear end of themselves, than it is to forgive someone who has made me feel like I looked like the horse's rear end, or worse, disregarded my feelings, altogether.  When we feel the affront was intentional and aimed to humiliate, it's really difficult to forgive.  And even more difficult to forgive, is the person who knew we were hurt and did nothing, or worse, added to the humiliation.

Forgiving 70 X 7, needs to be kept in context.  If a brother comes repentant, forgive . . . otherwise, we're just going back for more, and eventually, we're angry because we feel stupid, but we're so caught up in our own perception, we don't see that we've brought this upon ourselves by taking Scripture out of context.  That's not to say, if a brother doesn't come repentant, we are to start making hash marks on the calendar and praying revenge, but rather we are simply to move on and realize the circumstances.

I have done some serious soul searching as of late.  There have been a number of areas, I've tried to fix the humiliation of feeling stupid.  You know what?  I can't fix that.  There's no way to undo what was done and the only potential for "do overs" will be with other people in other circumstances, so that is where I must be circumspect.  I get over being mad, pretty quickly, but hurt and humiliation last awhile, or at least did.  I know in my heart, I wasn't trying to hold a grudge, I simply did not know how to get rid of that sad feeling of lack of trust.

As YHWH would have it, it really is easy.  I don't have to trust someone that isn't trustworthy, I just have to forgive them for the fact they are not trustworthy.  I can even pray that they will come to know YHWH and in that relationship with Him, will become trustworthy.  I also have to move on in my own life and realize, it's up to me to not place myself in a situation to feel stupid or to trust the untrustworthy.  I can offer help, I can even listen, but when that stirring in my spirit says, stop, that's what I need to do.  Tenacity and accommodation are not the same thing that Paul and James were talking about when he said to endure!  Accommodation is often quite selfish in nature.  To endure for Messiah is entirely different than to accommodate situations in which we should simply excuse ourselves.

Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of YHWH; that YHWH is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.  James 5:11